Identify Destination

Identify Destination:
How do you know how to get there if you don't know where you are going?
It's easy to get mixed up and turned around these days especially if you don't identify where it is you want to be.
Today we are focusing on identifying the destination:
Goals, values, career objectives
I began my journey by identifying my values. Once I determined the values I wanted, I was able to better get a handle on what to do next.
You can pick any values you choose. The point here is to sit down and figure out what you want your life to look like.  Here were mine:

Honesty, integrity, openness, believe, trusting, hard working, sense of humor, compassionate, caring, good listener, motivational/motivated...
Using my list as markers, I could then begin to see which ones I had and which ones I needed in order to produce the life of my dreams.

Next I identified what my goals (short and long term) where:
Each goal included salary, one work goal, one parenting goal and one personal goal. For instance at
3 months: $65,000 salary, be in management with 3 employees under me, private school for eldest son
6 months: $100,000 salary, start another office, non-smoker
1 yr: $150,000 salary, be a trainer, long term committed relationship
3 yr: $75,000 salary, start my own business, sailboat
10 yr: Retire, sail around the Atlantic
Each goal builds on the one before and allows me to utilize my skills and desires to achieve it. Making sure to include a personal goal in there, helps me to stay focused on the goals as I go about the day-to-day tasks.

The last thing I identified was what I call "Soul Work". What do I want from my company in order to make me happy and productive? What would sooth my soul and allow me to do my best work?
Recognition for the work I did, allowed to be creative, challenging so I didn't get bored, flexibility, something that would allow me to help others, allow travel, and motivating.
You can pick your own, but hopefully my list will get you started! The point here is to get you off your duff and begin to take some steps toward independence and responsibility for your life. Only then can you make it better.
Here's hoping you arrive at your destination!

Path to Greatness

I hate it when I get that feeling at the pit of my stomach telling me something just "isn't right". Don't you? You can't seem to put your finger on it, put you know...
So, what do you do? How do you determine what is wrong?
I usually close my eyes and ask myself, "what's wrong?"
That first answer that you immediately think of and then dismiss...Yeah, that one. It's always the answer.
That's when I curse myself for it, thinking I shouldn't let that bother me! Then I pick up my journal and write about it.
Getting it out of my head gets it out of my system (if only for a while) so I can get on with my day.
Spending time reflecting, giving it the attention it needs from me, prevents the damage it could do left unattended.
It's always the things we try to hide or suppress that bites the hardest.
Give it it's dues and move on...
Your path to greatness is starting to open up...

Getting Started On You...

Before you begin your transformation there are a few questions you should ask yourself:


1. Am I already the person I want to be?
2. Am I proud of who I am?
3. What do I like about myself?
4. What do I dislike?
5. What do I want to change?
6. What character traits are important to me?
7. Do I already have these character traits?
8. What beliefs do I want to have?
9. Do I already have these beliefs?
10. How do I want to fit in to my world (community)?

Once you've created the destination, the direction becomes easier to map out. It's the same as taking a road trip. 1) Identify the destination 2) Map out your trip 3) Pack your bags 4) Load your car 5) Get in and drive.

Life is no different. If you don't know the directions, how do you know what exits to take?

Open up

What is possible? Are there miracles left? How do I open up to them? How do I open my heart, my mind, my soul? How do I let my guard down? How do I send my armor packing? How can I allow anything to happen?


OPEN-OPEN-OPEN-OPEN-OPEN

Stop talking and complaining to others. Take action laid at my feet. Trust in me. Trust in the universe.

Expand…Stretch the rubber band and give it permission to break. Do not let the fear of the pop allow you to stop.

Go forward from love to love received from the universe. Call on the powers within and the powers that surround you. Stand firm in your beliefs and convictions.

Develop an internal dialog that allows for creativity and oneness. Form connections with all things. Break out of the self imposed prison and go after my dreams, my goals.

Realizing you can allows you to jump from vision to realization.

Knowing that there is a purpose, a calling, a goal and a process makes it real and achievable.

Live Selfishly

Who knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day or the day after. Building on each day, knowing what is right in your heart and having the courage to follow it regardless of what others say. Live in the open. Love in the open. Life is too short to spend in bed. Life is too short wondering what others will think. Just live your life for you. You are not responsible for anyone else.


The only action you need to take are those that are placed before you each day. Your life is yours. Your partner, your parents or your friends cannot live it for you. You must take the action.
Live your life in accordance with what is important to you, not someone else. In this way, your selfishness will lead you to a life of abundance.

SAME CAME

We were so good together because we encouraged each other toward personal growth, to look within ourselves for our own answers. We challenged each other to push out our limits.
Now I'm on my own. I have to dig deeper, encourage myself.
Not forgetting SAME CAME:

Save $1 every day
Affirm myself
Meet 1 new person everyday
Exercise 10 minutes a day

Call 1 person each day
Apologize to anyone I have harmed today (including myself)
Meditate for at least 1 minute
Eat healthier foods (nuts, vegetables and fruits)

I am a great person. God created me for a reason, a purpose. He created me beautiful, perfectly imperfect. Every action I take needs to reflect that fact. All actions should match my thoughts, feelings and needs. All working together for a common goal; Life Balance.
Body, Mind, Heart, Soul, each have a role. Each need to be heard. Each working together in harmony as I walk forward in my life becoming the person I want to be...

Pathways, Book Excerpt

I have felt the love the three of us share and the deep commitment that we have for each other and the company. We have such a unique relationship, one that has allowed us to grow together and individually. We have walked many uphill roads together and fought many fights. Here we now stand at a fork in the road, trying to determine which one is the best to take. Each one of us feels the need to take a different road and stand here wishing that there was a different reality that different decisions should have been made and they were not. Each one of us now must face what road we will take and where that will lead us, we don't really know.

Each hill we have taken and each fight we have fought, we have done together, as a team. When one team member was angry or hurt or didn't want to go on, the other two has been there to help, to push and sometimes to carry. We have gladly done that for each other out of the love we share together. Now here we are facing the biggest mountain, can we all go down the same road? Unfortunately, we all know that we cannot and our hearts are heavy. We can allow our hearts to remain heavy and build a wall around it to protect ourselves, allowing anger and resentments to build. We can choose to keep our hearts open to each other even though the pain is so sever we feel it breaking.

I feel as though even with different paths in front of us and even though we may not take the same way up the mountain, that we can all meet at the top as we all are going toward the same goal. Our love for each other is unique, and incredible, one that I wish not to lose. I hope that each of you feels as I do and that we can find a way to look past the pain and into what we know and feel for life, love, the company and each other.

I hope that each of us continue to reach out to the others out of that love and help each past the anger and the pain, allowing us all to be who we are and do what we know must be done now.

Book Excerpt

I was so angry, my whole life, Elon, my WHOLE LIFE.
I yelled, I screamed, you, you have seen me like that. The venom in my tone, my voice. I spewed it on to people. I could cut them down with one sentence and they knew it. Everyone knew it, wondered when I would do it again, because the in between times, I was easy going, fun loving, seemed happy.
Then a few months ago, BAM it was all gone. All the anger, the venom, it left, like it was never even there. Remember how for weeks I didn't even say a cuss word? I even cringed when people cussed around me.
Remember? You were so gentle to me, treating me like an angel, so fragile. You made sweet love to me, always looking me in the eye, always so much love. Always tender and I needed it.

Then one night you were in the basement drinking and you were upset and we chatted about it. That's when you added the Vixen to my name. Remember? That's when I started finding a balance between always and never. I can get mad, as you saw on Friday, but look at the difference in how I was before and how I was Friday.

Remember when I slammed your door so hard the thing fell off the wall? I was so angry at you. I was so angry because I hurt and I wanted you to hurt I wanted you to feel what I felt. I was not able to just say hey, you hurt me. I wanted you to feel that hurt, not just hear me say it. NOW, NOW, I tell you, NOW, I don't want you to feel hurt. I don't want you to feel pain. I would do anything to save you from pain.

Remember Friday, I didn't yell at you, I didn't scream, I didn't slam doors. But you knew I was mad (notice I said mad, NOT angry) and I was able to convey to you what I felt without having to hurt you in the process. THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.

My life was transformed at a moment in time, over the last few months. I didn't realize it until the last month, which is when I started telling you about it, same as when you started telling me about thinking of me all the time.

I began a life of love, transforming me into someone that can grow, can love and be loved. Can trust, can be honest, can be an Angel and a Vixen at the same time. Someone that feels good about themselves, someone that learns from life's lessons.

"Life's a Dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead sometimes you follow. Don't worry about what you don't know. Life's a Dance you learn as you go."
Life's a Dance- John Michael Montgomery

Elon, until I met you, I could not dance. I could not trust someone to let them lead, I always had to lead, so I quit dancing, I quit trying. With you, I have found that I don't always have to lead and sometimes it's better to follow.

The Self You Want To Be

I was talking to a friend not too long ago and he told me about a conversation he had with his young daughter. She asked his advice about the man she was seeing.

“Dad, how did you know Mom was the one?”

“That’s easy, Sharon. There is a test you can take.”

“A test? Dad, I never heard about a test. What kind of test?”

“Well, it goes like this…If you are more the person you want to be when they are with you than you are without them, that is true love.”

“What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“OK, let me see if I can explain it better. When you are with the, you are more who you want to be then you are alone. If that person is not in your life, do you feel less like yourself or more like yourself?”

“Hmmm, I feel more alive, more awakened to others around me. I am happier, more confident. Yeah, I feel more like the person I want to be.”

“Now, picture yourself without him. Do you still feel alive, happy, and confident?”

“No, I feel empty, like I’m just going through motions.”

“Then you guys have passed the test. It won’t always feel that way. You will have to work at it. But you can survive life’s storms if you do it together.”

“I love you, Dad. Thank you.”

“Thank you, honey. I love you too. You’re Mom and I are very proud of you. Now, I need to go tell her how much I love her; gotta keep the love alive ya know…”


I thanked Lewis for sharing the story with me. It was a tender moment shared between a father and daughter. However, it has universal implications. If each one of us asked ourselves these questions before we went down the aisle, we would all be better off.

Don’t settle. Don’t jump in because you are afraid of being alone. Learn who you are and who you want to be.

Then ask yourself:

When do you feel more like yourself? The self you want to be?

We are Meant to Feel Love

We are meant to feel love, joy excitement. That is our highest purpose, our highest truth.
Yet, most play it safe, they feel that security is most important. They would sacrifice themselves for it, and many have, many did.
My sadness, my sorrow, is from the potential in you, the love that you will go without, the love your children will never get to see, to feel, to experience.
Not for me. For you. My sorrow is for you. I will never settle again. I will never be the person I was ever again.
I will not hurt myself or feel that I have to self destruct because of the love that you showed me.
I will love; I will continue to put it out there. If I have 10000 hurts, because that is what LIFE IS ALL ABOUT! There is nothing else. The highest truth, THE ONLY TRUTH IS LOVE.
Has nothing to do with any one person. But that you can love that you can express it. What most people feel is loving care, but that is not true love.
LOVE CAN NEVER BE BAD. CAN NEVER HURT. LOVE GIVES US JOY. OVERWHELMING JOY AND EMOTIONS.
LOVE IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING. ALWAYS.
Please know that you are loved.

Life's Cycles

One chapter closes, another one opens. Life is a cycle –ups, downs, in betweens, valleys, peaks. We experience them all. The extent to which we experience them is up to us, each one.
What we do with the knowledge we have is also up to us. We can use it for good, evil, we can embrace it, ignore it, or any point in-between.
The love we feel for others is meant to be shared, never hidden. It is in our hearts, souls, our very being. To deny it is against all we know, feel, are. We must act it out.
Allowing yourselves to be, to do, to love ultimately and completely. To do otherwise is nothing short of a crime.
The answers we all seek are there for us, waiting for the questions to be asked.
Love knows no bounds –it is endless; unmistakably, undeniably, endless.
We must seek it, turning on what we know and embrace the truth.
LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE TRUTH, THE ONLY TRUTH!!!!

In the End We Find the Beginning

Everything I do, I will do out of love for myself and those around me. I will make my choices based in that love and the understanding from that love. I will move forward with grace and dignity and see what adventures await me each and every day, not ever again missing an opportunity that is before me.

When one door closes, another one opens and I must step through the threshold (without seeing ahead of time) with trust and faith that that is the right door for me. I know and believe that and even though sometimes it is hard to walk through when you don't know what awaits behind the door, courage must win over my fears and I must walk into the room.

Though my heart may be heavy, though the tears may flow, a new journey must begin. A new beginning must be started. A new world awaits us with open arms and open hearts.

Yes, it would be easier if we could see ahead of time what each day would bring, but then what fun would that be if we always knew? Surprises in life are good for the soul and keep us searching, questioning, and learning. How boring life would be if we were not this way.

Know that I will go on living my life as I have set out to do and anytime my thoughts turn to you, I will think of you and smile. Any time the Angels hit me upside the head with a frying pan, know that I will call, im, text, or email for they are my guides and I trust in them.

Know that you go on your journey with all my love and support. Although I know I will experience pain from time to time. Although I will experience a longing, so strong, a desire so deep, I know in my heart that our love will never end.

I wish you great love in your journey. I wish you great happiness in your pursuits. I wish you great joy in your endeavors. I wish you great emotions to feel and enjoy all that life has to offer you. I wish you an over abundance of love to share with everyone around you. I wish you greatness...

Introduction

Introduction

It had been a long road for Rosa; many years had passed since she began her journey of discovery. Rosa was only a child when she knelt down to pray for a life that only seemed possible in her dreams. She couldn’t have realized then, what she had set in motion.

Those prayers, thoughts, and wishes sent out as a whisper, but no matter how quiet, the universe heard… Setting into motion a chain of events that would take years to fulfill, the universe ultimately answers the child’s prayers.

“Be patient young one, for your heart’s desires will be filled,” the universe whispered in the wind. And so it was, the universe began to conspire for Rosa.

Rosa has endured many trials and tribulations, most from her own creations, choices and burdens. The days that have passed, have often passed slowly for Rosa as she lay in wait.

But what was she waiting for?

Rosa had asked that question many times…

I was just leaving a job I dearly loved when I met Rosa. What a beautiful young woman she was; so full of life and charm! Rosa was kind, compassionate, caring. She had such a gift for love; one she so freely shared with everyone she came into contact with.

Never a hint of the pain she had endured the heartache she had suffered; only the love she felt in her heart. I came to know and love Rosa as if she were my own creation. Many people have asked how such a person could even exist.

My answer is: only through love; pure love, could that person ever come into being. When you share yourself, your soul with another, without fear, without expectations, or without guilt the results are freeing, amazing and loving.

This is where I met Rosa…. And decided to tell her story.